loner

see??? u don't have to if u don't want to.. it's so obvious.. i've told ya.. i'm a loner.

holiday...

everybody is going home already.. this is kinda sad.. i hate watching people leaving me.. thank God mira is still here.. this place getting quieter and dull.. feeling lonely.. need to go home for different kind of feeling.. wish raya this time will be more meaningful.. miz u mommy...

die.. die...

can i just die??? aiiyyooo.. this is killing me.. u r one irrational creature that i've ever knew..

stalking

stalking someone.. looking at pics.. someone i knew very well before.. urgh, all the memories keep coming back again.. dun wanna feel this way but mayb i'm juz bored.. can't sleep.. dis is not normal.. i think i should sleep.. wat am i doing.. i need motivation to study actually.. school counselling notes are not inviting at all.. keep trying to read at least a chapter(slides) but nothing productive.. juz like mira, maybe i need pressure too then i can start studying.. that will be today.. then, i can go home.. i want to go back home but at the same time dun wanna this sem to end.. the same feeling at the end of every sem.. kinda sad.. kinda gloomy.. kinda empty..

weird...

this is totally weird.. it's been a while i haven't update my blog.. jd kalo aq dh update nih, msti ade sumthing la nih.. urgh.. i'm such a bad person.. i know & more worst, i didn't do anything to avoid that from happening.. before this, when i do sumthing, it doesn't involve anyone else.. not at all.. i do it bcoz i want to.. but now.. this thing.. it involves other people's feelings.. that can make that person will break into pieces if that person would ever know about it.. people that i care so much.. oh.. heart.. oh GOD.. help me.. don't let me lost you again and again.. i know i already did.. but..

i'm just scared..

car license

last few weeks, i was very happy to hear that my good fren has pass her driving license test.. i was totally happy for her.. i'm impressed & at the same time, i wonder how she could pass the test? haha.. never mind.. i know she could and she already prove it.. congrat my fren! for me, having a car license is a great advantage for people at my age to enable us to go anywhere without having to ask for help or make it a burden to other people to provide transportation.. unfortunately, till now, i still haven't own a car license.. i'm 22! come on.. why didn't i get one?? it's easy.. because no one can give me a guarantee to give me a car.. no one ever promise to me.. wat is the use to have a car license if i didn't have a car, rite..so, in my simple yet demanding mind, i won't apply a car license unless someone can give me a car.. actually there is one but.. i prefer my family to give me a car..

so, several weeks ago, my second elder brother came to my house.. without he realizing it, he had given me a HOPE in my 'meaningless and feeling boring during holidays' life.. he wants to give me his Honda car to me.. .. actually, he just bought a new car.. by now, maybe the new car already arrived, i guess.. yeah, i'm glad to hear that, my big bro.. however, now, it's already disember, i dun think i wil be able to finish my driving lesson for a month if i apply now minus the fact that rite now, i'm being a tutor to my neighbour's children & that i will be going to s'pore on 20th .. so.. i will just book the car for the next sem,part 6, i guess.. with this kind of guarantee, then, i will totally apply for a driving lesson later.. finally~~*sigh*

uncivilized road users

maybe it is fate that i only up date my blog whenever there are long holidays which is 2 months semester break... hrmm.. i'm clueless on wat to write actually.. well, i suddenly remember about a situation that really annoys me & i'm sure anyone else too.. few days ago, my sister in law and i went to a mall.. there was a big sale during that day.. so, of course there will be a lot of people came who contribute to 'not enough parking', duh.. while searching for a parking, then, we found one.. very strategic one.. we waited for the car to move out from the place.. when the car get lost, suddenly, there was one fucking stupid car came by and park right into the place.. at the moment, we r so pissed off.. i press the car horn like crazy.. the stupid car driver, i dun know.. maybe pretending dat he did nothing wrong.. i dun want to get off the car to ask him to leave.. i've my pride.. it was a MALAY man and a girl.. so, we drive away with anger.. accidentally, my sister in law & i gave out a very good brilliant idea while searching for another car park which took us about 15 min.. wat we did was, we went back to the stupid idiot car.. took out a coin and scratched the car from the front to the back.. wat a feeling! my sister in law was very excited... she done that twice.. look like she was pissed off..we left quite a long memorable scratching line to his car.. haha, i felt bad but i dun care.. what that man did was very uncivilized..