tears

i dun quite remember.. maybe the nite b4 las nite, i broke into tears.. i juz dun know why.. it was sooooo damn hot dat nite & i couldn't sleep.. i juz couldn't sleep. i guess all the other hosmets have already fallen asllep.. & here wat i was doing is staring at the ceiling miserably.. i broke into tears.. when i think about my mom, i feel sad, weak, sensitive. i miss her a lot.. not what she is now, but what she was b4.. when i compare my situation with other frens, it hurts.. to know the truth dat she will never be the same hurts me a lot.. to know that my lfe is not normal hurts more.. i often cried when i think of her.. she can't cook 4 me anymore.. she can't hug me anymore.. she can't bring me 2 the mall anymore.. she can't even walking togther with me anymore.. she can't do evrything dat she used to do for me b4..all she can do is talking with me & every nite i sleep with her.. i admit i am a very "manja" person b4 especially with my mom.. i used 2 hug & kissed her like so many time b4.. we r very close like hell.. now i feel like i'm losing part of me..losing my only very very very bes fren in my life.. ooh, i hate my life... i was also such an arrogant, rude daughter u can never imagine.. when i think bout the past, i wish dat i was not dat bad.. dis is wat we called karma mayb.. i feel stressed & stuck when i'm at home.. seriously shit.. but still i miss my mom.. dat's the only reason i'm going home all this while.. to be frank, i dun give a shit to all my frens at my hometown... sometimes, i really dun have the mood to meet them, to hang out with them.. they bothers me soo much.. the only reason i go out is because they are at my house looking 4 me.. yea fine.. by the way, rite now, all i know is i want 2 fucking turn back time!! there r so many thngs i wanna change in my life.. i can't help it..

never ending assgnments..

when i said life's sucks.. i really really mean it dude especially when it comes 2 assgnments... today i have to work on my informative speech and at the same time, the outline for the persuasive speech too.. by hook or by crook, i've to submit them tmorrow.. wow.. and the great thng is that i haven't started anythng yet.. i'm juz too lazy to do anythng.. waaa... u can say anythng but i lurve pocrastination 2 much.. instead on working on the speeches, i'm using my time to start a blog.. ahaks3... it's really juz me.. by the way, wat topic should i use for my persuasive speech??? still no idea..... i guess, no sleeps tonite 4 me... not to mention, i've test on thrsday & friday!! wuuu... i hate my life 2 much.. suddenly i rmember leona lewis's song dat says' keep bleeding.. keep keep bleeding..." yeah, i'm bleeding inside. urghh.. help me...... i'm juz 2 lazy.... urrhghh..