it's juz me..

to begin, there is a quote saying that..
'Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death'

so, it's good to know dat u r okay now.. i guess i'm being a little coward.. i wanna show dat i care but i juz dun know how to say 0r at least show it.. like when u r in a bad mood b4, i juz dunno how to treat u like usual.. dis is one of my bad, i guess.. i only asked bout u from one of our friends.. i was scared u know when i heard bout ur situation coz i'm terrified dat i'll face the same situation too.. i can't afford to lose someone dat i love again.. i totally know the feeling when losing someone & in fact, i am facing the phase where i am losing part of myself bit by bit.. watching and taking care of my mother who is in pain.. and having to deal with this alone.. actually, i'm living alone with my mother right now.. it's been a week since my elder brother went to jb working.. can u imagine how i live my life by myself & at the same time having to take care of my mother.. i cook by myself if i want to eat.. although not everyday but still, it's tiring for a lazy person like me.. usually, my brother will juz buy food from outside.. mostly we eat outside meal rather than home meal.. dat's y i said some of you are so lucky to still have a healthy mother to cook for you. u name it, ur mother will cook for u rite? there's no such thing in my house.. it's been 3 years my mother haven't cook for our family.. there's no different actually between living in s.alam & living in my own house.. always eating outside meal, duh.. i can say dat i am very independent at home.. i realize dat i've to rely on myself, no more like school children.. people can say dat i'm childish sumtimes but they never know wat i'm going through.. juz stop talking bout others wen u urself r not perfect though.. anyway, usually, i go to mall alone wen i think i need to be alone.. well, i usually hang out with my high skul frens.. they are very nice & soooo funny.. i totally forgot about my probs when i'm with them.. well, they are a bunch of good people, really.. sumtimes, i feel dat i'm not deserve to be their fren... coz i did kinda bad things & they never know bout wat i did.. sorry, guys.. it's better for me 2 shut my mouth.. however, in the end of the day, i realize i can't avoid myself from being lonely sometimes.. i wish i have a sister.. anyway, my brother will be back home soon.. i dunno whether i should be hepi or annoyed.. uurrgghh...

last last nite, i hang out with my sister in law.. she is nice, shopaholic & lurve perfume too much.. she has a big collection of branded perfumes.. i'm jealous.. btw, da good point is she can't cook at all.. she fails miserably!! haha, she is such a spoilt brat, i guess... she went to jb yesterday for a work course.. wat a coincidence for husband & wife to be in a same place.. huh, they annoys me sometimes.. well, suddenly i juz remember about my 2nd elder brother, he & wife + tasnim(my one & only anak buah) has moved out to kedah.. so far away from bp.. huh.. fine.. btw, they juz went back from bandung.. again.. shopping heaven.. i'm so jelez.. they will come to bp next month.. i hope they bought somethng for me or else, i'll get angry..

bitter gourd..

yesterday, it was happened for me to cook a species of vegetable named bitter gourd.. wat we usually call in bm as peria.. actually, i never see the actual appearance of this bitter gourd.. yesterday is the first time & i'm impressed with the inner side of the bitter gourd.. nice, soft & colourful, huhu.. all this while,i never like to eat peria becoz they taste weird.. bitter juz like their name.. my mom loves this bitter gourd too much, weird.. hurm, i cooked them succesfully as usual, wahaha.. sumtimes, i'm very good in cooking, i think.. i also cooked 'ikan masak lemak cili api'.. it's been a while i'd cooked this dishes.. i'm satisfied, that's wat important.. yummy..

part time job....

last night, i went to a new mall that was been opened in batu pahat several months ago.. as usual, i will be the last to check it out.. huh, dat night, i juz felt too bored, so i asked my brother to send me there.. hurm.. parkson.. 1st impression, not bad but the mall is not that big like i expected.. plus, it is combined with carrefour.. there are shops lot that are still empty.. it takes time.. after walking & strolling around, i went down on an escalator.. suddenly, i saw someone who i knew very very well. she is none other than my close friend, khairunisa a.k.a yun.. i saw her buying something at a candy stall.. i called her name.. she couldn't see me.. then, i went towards her.. haha, she was shocked.. after that, then i know, she is not buying but she is working there.. she is so hardworking, huu.. however, that night is the last night she will be working as the employer couldn't hire a part time worker.. suddenly, the thought of wanting to apply for a part time job came back into my memory.. such a great experiences to gain & my time wouldn't be wasted juz like dat.. but, the prob is... i'm too lazy to search for a suitable job.. how i wish part time job will come straight in front of my face.. i need & love money too much.. huk3.. how i wish life would be much easier..

miranda...

miranda kerr... who is she anyway? why suddenly i wanna write about her?? hurm.. i also not sure why.. i had a thing 4 her.. not that kind of 'thing' feeling but.. she's cute.. she's sweet.. plus, she is the love of mr.orlando bloom.. how hot is that.. miranda is a victoria secret's model... dat's hot already actually.. why i sound like a pervert?? jeezz... her mole on the cheeks add her cuteness & actually i never hear she speaks & modelling.. i juz so nothing to do.. dat is to talk about her.. hurm.. watever..

for fun..

hurm.. when talking about admiration.. i juz can't take my mind from thebeautiful & stunning camilla belle... she has a great taste in fashion as she was grown up in the glamorous of fashion settings.. her mother is a fashion designer, i guess.. she was born to wear all the beautiful & expensive dresses.. such a lucky person.. hurmm... she caught my eyes when i watched 10 000bc with nyss & valen, if i'm not mistaken.. 4 me, she was very beautiful in that movie with blue eyes although she looks dirty & her skin was dark.. then, i started 2 search 4 her other movies although they are not as successful & famous as 10 000bc.. the quiet, when a stranger calls, the ballad of jack & rose and some more... it's ok, she is low profile, i guess.. haha.. she is still beautiful 2 me... some people may say that she has a weird face with thick eyebrow, then so what?? do u guys are so f***king pretty to comments about others? i dun think so...

well, about her relationship with joe jonas... i dun know wat 2 say, really... i juz wish the best 4 them.. btw, wat do u expect? their faces are almost look alike!! scary sumtimes, haha.. i dun care on wat are their 'dark' secrets behind their relationship, i juz wish them gud luck.. em, to be frank.. i prefer robert pattison better.. i dun know.. sumtimes, he's hot but sumtimes, i've to admit that he looks messy, stinks and unorganized.. watever.. he can changes 4 good sooner or later, i guess, huu.. as a low profile fan of camilla belle, i juz wish the best 4 her.. i'm still wishing that u will come to M'sia someday... hope 2 meet u.. huh.. wat a fantasy...

mother's day

yesterday was mother's day.. i bought my mother 2 pairs of clothes.. she loves it.. i knew she will love everything that i do for her.. she's such a great mother.. she's a superwoman 4 me.. she's everything 2 me.. i will never know wat my life will be without her.. how i wish she knows that i really really really loves u mom.. forgive me 4 all the grumbling, yelling and annoyance that sometimes you got from me.. trust me, i never meant it.. pliz dun leave me..stay strong.. u'll be hepi like u used 2 b4.. we'll juz wait 4 the day.. hepi mother's day.. dun cry mom.. i love you..