it's juz me..

to begin, there is a quote saying that..
'Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death'

so, it's good to know dat u r okay now.. i guess i'm being a little coward.. i wanna show dat i care but i juz dun know how to say 0r at least show it.. like when u r in a bad mood b4, i juz dunno how to treat u like usual.. dis is one of my bad, i guess.. i only asked bout u from one of our friends.. i was scared u know when i heard bout ur situation coz i'm terrified dat i'll face the same situation too.. i can't afford to lose someone dat i love again.. i totally know the feeling when losing someone & in fact, i am facing the phase where i am losing part of myself bit by bit.. watching and taking care of my mother who is in pain.. and having to deal with this alone.. actually, i'm living alone with my mother right now.. it's been a week since my elder brother went to jb working.. can u imagine how i live my life by myself & at the same time having to take care of my mother.. i cook by myself if i want to eat.. although not everyday but still, it's tiring for a lazy person like me.. usually, my brother will juz buy food from outside.. mostly we eat outside meal rather than home meal.. dat's y i said some of you are so lucky to still have a healthy mother to cook for you. u name it, ur mother will cook for u rite? there's no such thing in my house.. it's been 3 years my mother haven't cook for our family.. there's no different actually between living in s.alam & living in my own house.. always eating outside meal, duh.. i can say dat i am very independent at home.. i realize dat i've to rely on myself, no more like school children.. people can say dat i'm childish sumtimes but they never know wat i'm going through.. juz stop talking bout others wen u urself r not perfect though.. anyway, usually, i go to mall alone wen i think i need to be alone.. well, i usually hang out with my high skul frens.. they are very nice & soooo funny.. i totally forgot about my probs when i'm with them.. well, they are a bunch of good people, really.. sumtimes, i feel dat i'm not deserve to be their fren... coz i did kinda bad things & they never know bout wat i did.. sorry, guys.. it's better for me 2 shut my mouth.. however, in the end of the day, i realize i can't avoid myself from being lonely sometimes.. i wish i have a sister.. anyway, my brother will be back home soon.. i dunno whether i should be hepi or annoyed.. uurrgghh...

last last nite, i hang out with my sister in law.. she is nice, shopaholic & lurve perfume too much.. she has a big collection of branded perfumes.. i'm jealous.. btw, da good point is she can't cook at all.. she fails miserably!! haha, she is such a spoilt brat, i guess... she went to jb yesterday for a work course.. wat a coincidence for husband & wife to be in a same place.. huh, they annoys me sometimes.. well, suddenly i juz remember about my 2nd elder brother, he & wife + tasnim(my one & only anak buah) has moved out to kedah.. so far away from bp.. huh.. fine.. btw, they juz went back from bandung.. again.. shopping heaven.. i'm so jelez.. they will come to bp next month.. i hope they bought somethng for me or else, i'll get angry..