car license

last few weeks, i was very happy to hear that my good fren has pass her driving license test.. i was totally happy for her.. i'm impressed & at the same time, i wonder how she could pass the test? haha.. never mind.. i know she could and she already prove it.. congrat my fren! for me, having a car license is a great advantage for people at my age to enable us to go anywhere without having to ask for help or make it a burden to other people to provide transportation.. unfortunately, till now, i still haven't own a car license.. i'm 22! come on.. why didn't i get one?? it's easy.. because no one can give me a guarantee to give me a car.. no one ever promise to me.. wat is the use to have a car license if i didn't have a car, rite..so, in my simple yet demanding mind, i won't apply a car license unless someone can give me a car.. actually there is one but.. i prefer my family to give me a car..

so, several weeks ago, my second elder brother came to my house.. without he realizing it, he had given me a HOPE in my 'meaningless and feeling boring during holidays' life.. he wants to give me his Honda car to me.. .. actually, he just bought a new car.. by now, maybe the new car already arrived, i guess.. yeah, i'm glad to hear that, my big bro.. however, now, it's already disember, i dun think i wil be able to finish my driving lesson for a month if i apply now minus the fact that rite now, i'm being a tutor to my neighbour's children & that i will be going to s'pore on 20th .. so.. i will just book the car for the next sem,part 6, i guess.. with this kind of guarantee, then, i will totally apply for a driving lesson later.. finally~~*sigh*

uncivilized road users

maybe it is fate that i only up date my blog whenever there are long holidays which is 2 months semester break... hrmm.. i'm clueless on wat to write actually.. well, i suddenly remember about a situation that really annoys me & i'm sure anyone else too.. few days ago, my sister in law and i went to a mall.. there was a big sale during that day.. so, of course there will be a lot of people came who contribute to 'not enough parking', duh.. while searching for a parking, then, we found one.. very strategic one.. we waited for the car to move out from the place.. when the car get lost, suddenly, there was one fucking stupid car came by and park right into the place.. at the moment, we r so pissed off.. i press the car horn like crazy.. the stupid car driver, i dun know.. maybe pretending dat he did nothing wrong.. i dun want to get off the car to ask him to leave.. i've my pride.. it was a MALAY man and a girl.. so, we drive away with anger.. accidentally, my sister in law & i gave out a very good brilliant idea while searching for another car park which took us about 15 min.. wat we did was, we went back to the stupid idiot car.. took out a coin and scratched the car from the front to the back.. wat a feeling! my sister in law was very excited... she done that twice.. look like she was pissed off..we left quite a long memorable scratching line to his car.. haha, i felt bad but i dun care.. what that man did was very uncivilized..

lalala..

time goes by very fast.. phew.. soo not like it.. i read sumwhere that exam result will be out on 11th of this month.. wow.. scary.. serious.. dun know wat my result will turn out.. no idea at all.. but i guess this 3rd sem exam result will be soo not cool.. i've a bad feeling.. ;( well, i dun want this holiday to end very soon.. i'm not ready to face the new sem.. all the new subjects, assignments, quizzes and all that.. waa... that are soo not cool!! hurm.. i dunno y but rite now i've became a movie maniac.. every week i watched late nite movies.. love to watch movie soo much.. ;)) i blame my sister in law.. she drags me to become movie maniac.. huh..

besides, it seems weird for me also bcoz this holidays, i often accompany a friend of mine, yun, to promote a product.. she sells herbal sanitary pad.. i've to admit the pad feels good and it can heals a lot of sickness during period also such as 'senggugut', period yg x seragam, headaches, resdung & a lot more.. u can stick the pad on ur skin.. even man do it also.. u stick the pad on ur face if u've jerawat bcoz of resdung.. for exmple laa.. it actually works, u know!! haha.. weird but true.. i salute her bcoz she is so determine to do business.. but not for me.. i'm too lazy to do those kinds of thing.. huu.. anyway, thnx to jannah for feeding me wen i'm at ur home.. yummy.. hehe.. i'm sure u r very good in cooking.. ;))

it's juz me..

to begin, there is a quote saying that..
'Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death'

so, it's good to know dat u r okay now.. i guess i'm being a little coward.. i wanna show dat i care but i juz dun know how to say 0r at least show it.. like when u r in a bad mood b4, i juz dunno how to treat u like usual.. dis is one of my bad, i guess.. i only asked bout u from one of our friends.. i was scared u know when i heard bout ur situation coz i'm terrified dat i'll face the same situation too.. i can't afford to lose someone dat i love again.. i totally know the feeling when losing someone & in fact, i am facing the phase where i am losing part of myself bit by bit.. watching and taking care of my mother who is in pain.. and having to deal with this alone.. actually, i'm living alone with my mother right now.. it's been a week since my elder brother went to jb working.. can u imagine how i live my life by myself & at the same time having to take care of my mother.. i cook by myself if i want to eat.. although not everyday but still, it's tiring for a lazy person like me.. usually, my brother will juz buy food from outside.. mostly we eat outside meal rather than home meal.. dat's y i said some of you are so lucky to still have a healthy mother to cook for you. u name it, ur mother will cook for u rite? there's no such thing in my house.. it's been 3 years my mother haven't cook for our family.. there's no different actually between living in s.alam & living in my own house.. always eating outside meal, duh.. i can say dat i am very independent at home.. i realize dat i've to rely on myself, no more like school children.. people can say dat i'm childish sumtimes but they never know wat i'm going through.. juz stop talking bout others wen u urself r not perfect though.. anyway, usually, i go to mall alone wen i think i need to be alone.. well, i usually hang out with my high skul frens.. they are very nice & soooo funny.. i totally forgot about my probs when i'm with them.. well, they are a bunch of good people, really.. sumtimes, i feel dat i'm not deserve to be their fren... coz i did kinda bad things & they never know bout wat i did.. sorry, guys.. it's better for me 2 shut my mouth.. however, in the end of the day, i realize i can't avoid myself from being lonely sometimes.. i wish i have a sister.. anyway, my brother will be back home soon.. i dunno whether i should be hepi or annoyed.. uurrgghh...

last last nite, i hang out with my sister in law.. she is nice, shopaholic & lurve perfume too much.. she has a big collection of branded perfumes.. i'm jealous.. btw, da good point is she can't cook at all.. she fails miserably!! haha, she is such a spoilt brat, i guess... she went to jb yesterday for a work course.. wat a coincidence for husband & wife to be in a same place.. huh, they annoys me sometimes.. well, suddenly i juz remember about my 2nd elder brother, he & wife + tasnim(my one & only anak buah) has moved out to kedah.. so far away from bp.. huh.. fine.. btw, they juz went back from bandung.. again.. shopping heaven.. i'm so jelez.. they will come to bp next month.. i hope they bought somethng for me or else, i'll get angry..

bitter gourd..

yesterday, it was happened for me to cook a species of vegetable named bitter gourd.. wat we usually call in bm as peria.. actually, i never see the actual appearance of this bitter gourd.. yesterday is the first time & i'm impressed with the inner side of the bitter gourd.. nice, soft & colourful, huhu.. all this while,i never like to eat peria becoz they taste weird.. bitter juz like their name.. my mom loves this bitter gourd too much, weird.. hurm, i cooked them succesfully as usual, wahaha.. sumtimes, i'm very good in cooking, i think.. i also cooked 'ikan masak lemak cili api'.. it's been a while i'd cooked this dishes.. i'm satisfied, that's wat important.. yummy..

part time job....

last night, i went to a new mall that was been opened in batu pahat several months ago.. as usual, i will be the last to check it out.. huh, dat night, i juz felt too bored, so i asked my brother to send me there.. hurm.. parkson.. 1st impression, not bad but the mall is not that big like i expected.. plus, it is combined with carrefour.. there are shops lot that are still empty.. it takes time.. after walking & strolling around, i went down on an escalator.. suddenly, i saw someone who i knew very very well. she is none other than my close friend, khairunisa a.k.a yun.. i saw her buying something at a candy stall.. i called her name.. she couldn't see me.. then, i went towards her.. haha, she was shocked.. after that, then i know, she is not buying but she is working there.. she is so hardworking, huu.. however, that night is the last night she will be working as the employer couldn't hire a part time worker.. suddenly, the thought of wanting to apply for a part time job came back into my memory.. such a great experiences to gain & my time wouldn't be wasted juz like dat.. but, the prob is... i'm too lazy to search for a suitable job.. how i wish part time job will come straight in front of my face.. i need & love money too much.. huk3.. how i wish life would be much easier..

miranda...

miranda kerr... who is she anyway? why suddenly i wanna write about her?? hurm.. i also not sure why.. i had a thing 4 her.. not that kind of 'thing' feeling but.. she's cute.. she's sweet.. plus, she is the love of mr.orlando bloom.. how hot is that.. miranda is a victoria secret's model... dat's hot already actually.. why i sound like a pervert?? jeezz... her mole on the cheeks add her cuteness & actually i never hear she speaks & modelling.. i juz so nothing to do.. dat is to talk about her.. hurm.. watever..

for fun..

hurm.. when talking about admiration.. i juz can't take my mind from thebeautiful & stunning camilla belle... she has a great taste in fashion as she was grown up in the glamorous of fashion settings.. her mother is a fashion designer, i guess.. she was born to wear all the beautiful & expensive dresses.. such a lucky person.. hurmm... she caught my eyes when i watched 10 000bc with nyss & valen, if i'm not mistaken.. 4 me, she was very beautiful in that movie with blue eyes although she looks dirty & her skin was dark.. then, i started 2 search 4 her other movies although they are not as successful & famous as 10 000bc.. the quiet, when a stranger calls, the ballad of jack & rose and some more... it's ok, she is low profile, i guess.. haha.. she is still beautiful 2 me... some people may say that she has a weird face with thick eyebrow, then so what?? do u guys are so f***king pretty to comments about others? i dun think so...

well, about her relationship with joe jonas... i dun know wat 2 say, really... i juz wish the best 4 them.. btw, wat do u expect? their faces are almost look alike!! scary sumtimes, haha.. i dun care on wat are their 'dark' secrets behind their relationship, i juz wish them gud luck.. em, to be frank.. i prefer robert pattison better.. i dun know.. sumtimes, he's hot but sumtimes, i've to admit that he looks messy, stinks and unorganized.. watever.. he can changes 4 good sooner or later, i guess, huu.. as a low profile fan of camilla belle, i juz wish the best 4 her.. i'm still wishing that u will come to M'sia someday... hope 2 meet u.. huh.. wat a fantasy...

mother's day

yesterday was mother's day.. i bought my mother 2 pairs of clothes.. she loves it.. i knew she will love everything that i do for her.. she's such a great mother.. she's a superwoman 4 me.. she's everything 2 me.. i will never know wat my life will be without her.. how i wish she knows that i really really really loves u mom.. forgive me 4 all the grumbling, yelling and annoyance that sometimes you got from me.. trust me, i never meant it.. pliz dun leave me..stay strong.. u'll be hepi like u used 2 b4.. we'll juz wait 4 the day.. hepi mother's day.. dun cry mom.. i love you..

tears

i dun quite remember.. maybe the nite b4 las nite, i broke into tears.. i juz dun know why.. it was sooooo damn hot dat nite & i couldn't sleep.. i juz couldn't sleep. i guess all the other hosmets have already fallen asllep.. & here wat i was doing is staring at the ceiling miserably.. i broke into tears.. when i think about my mom, i feel sad, weak, sensitive. i miss her a lot.. not what she is now, but what she was b4.. when i compare my situation with other frens, it hurts.. to know the truth dat she will never be the same hurts me a lot.. to know that my lfe is not normal hurts more.. i often cried when i think of her.. she can't cook 4 me anymore.. she can't hug me anymore.. she can't bring me 2 the mall anymore.. she can't even walking togther with me anymore.. she can't do evrything dat she used to do for me b4..all she can do is talking with me & every nite i sleep with her.. i admit i am a very "manja" person b4 especially with my mom.. i used 2 hug & kissed her like so many time b4.. we r very close like hell.. now i feel like i'm losing part of me..losing my only very very very bes fren in my life.. ooh, i hate my life... i was also such an arrogant, rude daughter u can never imagine.. when i think bout the past, i wish dat i was not dat bad.. dis is wat we called karma mayb.. i feel stressed & stuck when i'm at home.. seriously shit.. but still i miss my mom.. dat's the only reason i'm going home all this while.. to be frank, i dun give a shit to all my frens at my hometown... sometimes, i really dun have the mood to meet them, to hang out with them.. they bothers me soo much.. the only reason i go out is because they are at my house looking 4 me.. yea fine.. by the way, rite now, all i know is i want 2 fucking turn back time!! there r so many thngs i wanna change in my life.. i can't help it..

never ending assgnments..

when i said life's sucks.. i really really mean it dude especially when it comes 2 assgnments... today i have to work on my informative speech and at the same time, the outline for the persuasive speech too.. by hook or by crook, i've to submit them tmorrow.. wow.. and the great thng is that i haven't started anythng yet.. i'm juz too lazy to do anythng.. waaa... u can say anythng but i lurve pocrastination 2 much.. instead on working on the speeches, i'm using my time to start a blog.. ahaks3... it's really juz me.. by the way, wat topic should i use for my persuasive speech??? still no idea..... i guess, no sleeps tonite 4 me... not to mention, i've test on thrsday & friday!! wuuu... i hate my life 2 much.. suddenly i rmember leona lewis's song dat says' keep bleeding.. keep keep bleeding..." yeah, i'm bleeding inside. urghh.. help me...... i'm juz 2 lazy.... urrhghh..