Thursday, July 7, 2011

i miss u, Atok

my grandpa just passed away.. it's been about 12 days since he left all of us.. lately, when my cousins and my mom were together, we often talked about him.. how he was such a kind-hearted, extremely patient, funny and well-mannered person.. we never have bad things to say about him.. that's a good thing, Alhamdulillah.. after his death, i realized a lot of things about him that i never expected him to be.. he never scold his children, he loves to buy things for us and he always think about others above him.. i really miss him right now.. i sometimes regret that i couldn't spend much more time with him before.. Atok, although i can't see u anymore, i'll always remember u.. i took ur little pouch for me to keep as a remembrance of u.. i miss ur smell, ur smile, ur grey hair, u with ur antique little radio, u fell asleep on the couch during raya, u and ur fav fruit, bananas and every small things that u do make me miss u even more.. anyway & anyhow, now, i could only pray that Allah will place u in His paradise.. Amin.. been able to kiss ur cold forehead made me cried non-stop & i saw everyone else also broke into tears.. look Atok, everyone loves u.. i will never forget those days when u were in the hospital.. u looked so weak.. my eyes were teary every time i visited u.. u waved at us weakly & even tried to get off from the bed.. as a result, ur hands were tied on the bed.. i really hated that, u were quarantined.. it was such a sad thing having to make choice between him to be alive but needing for resuscitation or let him took his last breath naturally.. we've decided which was just to let him took his last breath slowly & this was the hardest decision that ever been made by us.. my hands were shaking when i saw ur dead body was buried... death is such a sad thing.. unexpected & painful.. i love u, Atok..